… because it gives you Type 2 diabetes. Well, that’s just great. I can’t wait until the day comes when we’ve conclusively proven that eating, in and of itself, is bad for human beings. We’ll all get together and celebrate with a big slice of nothing.
Tag Archives: poison
We’re All Guilty
The olive oil industry: Evil, corrupt, and unconcerned about public safety. Is there nothing we first-world consumers can purchase that isn’t secretly tainted with crime, danger, and immoral practices? Except orphan-meat. That stuff’s cool, right?
Mwa Ha Ha Ha
If you want to know how to make a bracelet that can contain whatever kind of powdered beverage mix you might enjoy while you are visiting any place civilized enough to have hot or cold water, but remote enough where that’s all it’s got, then please follow this link.
Or, you could just get yourself a “poison ring.” There are apparently a lot of them out there.
P.S. Do not poison people.
Those Sneaky Bees!
Do you know where your honey came from? Probably not (unless you’re a hippy), because some manufacturers are deliberately hiding that information from you. As suggested in the article, it might be that they don’t want you to know that your honey was processed in places where the quality control standards are shockingly bad; but I rather suspect that Big Honey is trying to conceal the fact that most hives are run like crowded sweatshops, using forced labor.
Never Eat Any Wheat
A new book, apparently written by Dr. Impossible, says that we should not eat anything that contains wheat. Fine. I will have a nice particle board and fiberglass sandwich tonight, because if I’m not allowed to have wheat there is nothing else in my house left to eat.
Now The Sprouts Are Out
So they figured out that it was German sproutzen (Is that right? [I don't care]) that were causing all the E. coli trouble, but then actually nein. Whoops! Still, I think that in spite of the possibility that they haven’t actually hurt anybody, I am standing by the single rule that I’ve managed to follow for more than a decade: Do Not Eat Sprouts. Not necessarily something that everyone would want to follow, but to me they’ve always tasted like bitter dirt, and that’s just not on my list of even occasional cravings.
UPDATE: Gah!!!!!!?
My Crazy Friend Says There’s Superbugs In Our Meat
“A new study claims that not only does half the meat sold in groceries harbor a nasty little bacteria called Staphylococcus aureus, but a full quarter of the beef, chicken, pork and turkey carries a drug-resistant strain of the bug.” {From: Study: 25% Of Meat Sold In Groceries Contains Drug-Resistant Bacteria – The Consumerist}
No, Jimmy–he’s not crazy. If that cow had the chance it would kill you and everyone you care about. Not with the horns on its head, but with the poison that infests its corrupted flesh.
Happy Travels
The safety of backscatter x-ray machines (like the ones used by the TSA) relies on regular maintenance and testing of the units, to ensure that its subjects will not be overdosed with radiation. Guess who doesn’t have a maintenance or testing plan set up for their machines?
This Is Your Brain On… Candy?
“Over eating may be driven by a same neurobiological mechanism in the brain as drug addition, says a new study from the US that adds clout to the theory ‘food addiction’.” {From foodnavigator.com | Via The Consumerist}
I don’t expect anybody to put much stock into this story (ask yourself why), but it’s at least interesting for a number of reasons. One of which is the fact that it kind of backs up what this guy was saying last year.
Sadly, the practical upshot of this study is that eating food that tastes good makes our brains happy, and eating a lot of food that tastes good makes are brains really, really, fucking happy. Which is what drugs do, basically.
This (if its conclusions are correct, and pertain to humans as well as mice) then, is the study that proves, once and for all that yes, healthy food tastes terrible, while everything you love is poison.
Maybe Lead Is Good For Children?
“Recent tests by the Center for Environmental Health found lead levels in excess of allowable amounts in toys and baby products sold at Walmart and Target. But while Target has agreed to stop selling the items at all its stores, Walmart has only agreed to pull the products in question from stores in California.” {From The Consumerist }
What, you don’t want lead in your children’s toys? First, why are you trying to shield them from the grim realities of life (there’s lead in everything, everywhere), but second–and more importantly–why must innocent corporations be forced to suffer harsh economic consequences to accommodate your selfish lifestyle choices?
