They Say The Heart Of Monoculture’s Still Beating

Do you remember any part of the past fifteen years? If so, you might recall somebody mentioning that we now live in a highly fractured entertainment environment. The prevailing notion was that our popular culture, once a vast monolith of consolidated culture comprised of three television networks and single-screen movie theaters, had begun to slowly shatter into a million billion niches, each capable of holding only a dozen or so highly specialized fanatics at a time. We were all supposed to become so engrossed in our own peculiar, esoteric interests, that we would eventually lose the ability to talk to one another, since we no longer shared any common entertainment. Thanks a lot, Internet!

Or… maybe not?

What if I described for you a man who was incapable of naming more than one title in the Hunger Games series? A man who isn’t entirely sure what a hufflepuff is. Who hasn’t been to a movie theater since, oh, I don’t know, whenever it was that Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was released. A guy who can’t afford the really good cable package that everyone else seems to have, and therefore is beginning to suspect that A Game Of Thrones is some sort of soft-core “Skinemax” series that a bunch of hipsters have ironically decided to take seriously, but he can’t actually prove it. (And also believes–but also cannot prove–that George RR Martin manages to type up his novels despite the full-on erection that must constantly be getting in his way.) A man who thinks Girls is one third of a really old Motley Crue album.

Why, I do believe you’d say this hypothetical man (ahem, yes) is out of touch. Which raises the question: out of touch from what?

A-ha, MONOCULTURE! It was you all along!

Er… that’s not quite right is it?

Because it isn’t just mass culture–it’s also the fractured, fractal culture that was there all along. There’s been fanzines and samizdat and specialist mailing lists, and midnight movies, and underground booksellers, and subculture since the dawn of mass culture. It’s just been hidin’ sorta. The Internet made it easier to find, is all–but mass culture is still alive and kicking! Look how weird it feels when you talk to someone who doesn’t know much about it.

Niche interests didn’t–and probably won’t–kill our shared enjoyment of big, mass-market entertainment. Because you can have both! You can do obscure things and popular things at once! You do not need to live two lives to do those things! I mean, do you have any idea how much money the Hunger Games made? Do you really believe that, out of all the people who went to see that movie, there isn’t at least one person in that group who doesn’t collect handmade erotic thimbles, just to pick a hobby at random? Of course there is! Of course!

I’m no sociologist. And I know that human culture is varied and changes over time. But it seems like there will always be a few big things, and a whole lot of little things, to be interested in. Or, at the very least, we’re probably going to be stuck with that arrangement for rather a long while yet. I mean… probably. I don’t know. I’m pretty obscure myself, after all.

Bye, George

You know, as much as I dislike the Star Wars prequels, I don’t really bear any animosity towards George Lucas. I think he is somewhat lazy,  self-deluded, and (apparently) over-sensitive, but if those traits were justification enough to despise a man, I’d have written off most of the whole human race by now.

But I’m glad he’s retiring. Go have a nice, long rest, buddy. I mean, you’ve accomplished a lot! There’s no need to, for example, make any more movies or TV shows or anything. Take up a hobby, do something fun! In private! Especially–and I want to make this absolutely clear–something that has nothing at all to do with Star Wars again, ‘kay?

Monday Mourning

Since it Monday, why not enjoy this A.V. Club list of entertainment products that teach children about death.

I have heard people complain about how depressing a lot of children’s literature can be, what with all the death and stuff, but I don’t see the problem. Children are about the only audience that you can talk to about mortality with any real seriousness. Adolescents will either discover their own morbid fascination with it on their own… or they’ll sidestep the whole thing by watching films where the characters meet their ends in the most gruesome ways imaginable, and then laugh and laugh and laugh.

Meanwhile, adults tend to spend most of their time ignoring the fact that death exists at all, punctuated by the occasional shocking reminder that everyone that they love is slowly being taken from them. And then they go to work.

Some THING Is Wrong On Saturn THREE!

William Shatner is a complicated man. His status as a saint of the nerds has been a blessing and a curse, but I have to believe that he would have turned out weird no matter what. Thus, while this list might be the result of a middling actor trying to break out of his fan-appointed straight jacket, it’s also possible that the dude’s just eccentric.

Also, he was a total dick when he was a guest on Don’t Just Sit There!, so whatever.

Let’s Have Some No-No Juice

“Let me first say, I think people are done with the label ‘nerd.’ Lately, I’ve been feeling like ‘Wait… I’m not a nerd.’ Cause everyone’s nerdy about something. Football players are nerdy about football. And I know I sound like that dude junior year who’s gay and says ‘I’m not gay, I just don’t believe in labels, I fall in love with the person, whatever the form’ and you’re like ‘Dude, you’re gay. It’s fine. I don’t care. Can we finish watching Brazil for this film class project?’ but I just wanted to say that.” {From: TR Exclusive: Donald Glover’s 10 Favorite Nerd Things – Topless Robot }

I have to say that I mostly agree with this. Donald Glover is very awesome.

Unsullied Characters

Enjoy this list of ten Disney characters who have not yet been re-cast by the Internet into dark, terrifying, erotic fantasies. Note the characters’ impenetrable obscurity, and then try to live with the knowledge that every other Disney character you’ve ever heard of exists in a pornographic pastiche, somewhere out there.

But the Internet isn’t entirely to blame for this: Disney’s own animators have been doing this shit since the beginning.