Well, that does it for 2011. Wasn’t it terrible? How is everyone? Everybody okay? Tonight’s the night we marshal our dwindling resources in preparation for the coming slog… by getting plastered and staying up all night.
Happy New Year, y’all.
Monthly Archives: December 2011
I Can Finally Shop Happily
“Breaking news! It’s not just women steering carts around — men can go to the grocery store and shop for food. And they don’t want to be marketed to like they’re females, which means companies are learning how to skew ads and create grocery aisles specifically devoted to men.” {From: Guess What? Men Are Also Capable Of Grocery Shopping – The Consumerist}
Well, finally. I’ve been at the edge of starvation for my whole life–because, as a dude, shopping in supermarkets causes me to feel all oogy. Here I’ve been, looking for nourishment at auto parts stores, western apparel retailers, and Harley Davidson dealerships, finding little more than over-priced beef jerky, and wishing and hoping that some supermarket out there would someday learn how to cater to my masculine sensibilities.
Money Makes The Pols Spin Round
There once was a U.S. Representative who spoke out in favor of a free and unregulated Internet, who then received massive campaign donations from businesses who don’t really like that sort of thing. And then, in what is probably just a HUGE COINCIDENCE, the Representative turned an ideological 180, and is now vowing to basically ruin the Internet.
Don’t you wish you could buy a congressperson?
Do police officers accept campaign contributions? That would be grand. I bet a lot of them would COINCIDENTALLY reverse their positions on more than a few speeding tickets here and there, if only we humble citizens were allowed to contribute to their re-election funds.
Incriminating Words
“Stylometry has been cited by knowledgeable critics as proof of the pointlessness of the Nym Wars: why argue for the right to be anonymous or pseudonymous on Google Plus or Facebook when stylometry will de-anonymize you anyway?” {From: State of Adversarial Stylometry: can you change your prose-style? – Boing Boing.}
Your writing style may be more distinctive than you realize–but probably in a more mundane way than you would have probably hoped. The proposition that one’s identity can be discovered through the use of statistical analysis seems rather sinister–think of all the samizdat contributors whose lives would have been in yet more peril, if this technique had been readily available back in the bad old days.
Or, think about those people even now who are only free to share their experiences under the protective cover of a nom de plume, who learn of stylometry and withdraw from online discussions altogether, out of a precautionary fear. Maybe the tool in the above-linked article will help them, but who knows, really?
Now You’re Speaking My Language!
“Recent Discovery Contains Oldest Depiction of the Tower of Babel.” Is it an accurate depiction? I don’t know. I may be hella old (according to my nieces), but I’m not that old.
Being Fat Is Like Being Addicted…
… In that the best way to stop it, is to never start in the first place. So that’s a double whammy on me, I guess. Also, people who continue to justify their biases against fat people by claiming that obesity is solely the result of a weakness of character are just assholes. It’s okay! Just, you know, own your asshole, or whatever!
The Opposite Of An Expert
In my head I know that this list of “blogger blunders” isn’t directed at me, but in my heart, it wounds me. And I’m not even a new blogger.
Odd Lots doesn’t have a tag line or anything, but if it did, based on all of the blogging advice I’ve read over the years, it would probably be, “The blog that does everything wrong.”
At this point, I do sort of resent these articles advising people how to become a big, successful blogger. Because, at this point, isn’t it a little bit like playing music? Do it because it’s fun, because you feel like it, because you have to. Because, even if you’re a genius, you’ve still got something like a one in a million shot. Don’t do it if you care a lot about “making it.”
If you want big traffic, start a porn site or something.
{via Consumerist}
Nothing Left But The Future
If you celebrated Christmas this last Sunday, I hope you had a good one. Are you okay? Is everyone all right? Now’s a good time to check in, I think, before we all go over the edge of the year in a barrel.
Speaking of New Year’s, I am completely over that shit. Even amongst holidays, it is the king of insisting upon its own significance. Where will you be on December 31st? Better be somewhere special!
OR ELSE YOU WILL HAVE WASTED THE WHOLE YEAR.
It’s irritating, isn’t it? I’m right, aren’t I?
For once?
The Naughty Christmas Megapost
They say that Christmas is for families, and to a lot of people that means children. Well, bah! I say. What of the billions of childless adults out there? The wholesome mystique that surrounds Christmas is not for them, no sir! For their sake, we have collected a few of the more naughty odds and ends (that is: links) into a single post. Before you read on, be aware that the following content is Not Safe For The Hallmark Channel.
The Biggest Day
Well, here we are: it’s Christmas morning at long last. This is the moment that three months of commercial bombardment have been leading up to. Did you get a car?
Christmas is at the very bottom of the pile of days. That’s an incredible amount of pressure for a single 24 hour period to sustain. Oh, and it’s supposed to be fun, too.
It’s easy to say that we should let it get to us, but really–my advice is to take frequent breaks, and to go easy on yourself.
Have a merry Christmas.
