I See a Lot of Walking In Your Future

Even though I don’t really believe in the predictive power of the starts, there’s still an astrology widget on my home page. Why not? With its generally vaguely positive suggestions, it’s pretty harmless. I mean, it’s not like it’s ever going to say something along the lines of, “Today the stars suggest that you start closing down all lines of communication with your friends; later, in the afternoon, you should betray the trust of a loved one.” That would be irresponsible. And a little awesome, truth be told.

So, I don’t really believe in astrology and stuff. But I might have. If that little widget had just said something like, “You will have problems with transportation this week,” I might almost have been convinced.

Monday and Tuesday were rough for users of public transit in my area. I got to work late. I got home late. I spent a lot of time with a lot of other people just waiting around for stuff to show up and take us away. It roundly sucked.

If the stars were all they’re cracked up to be, you’d think that someone would have foreseen this, but no. It would have been useful information, but was completely missed. But it was such a simple thing! Even a vague, “This week: transportation issues” would have technically qualified as being at least somewhat predictive. But nope, nothing.

But hey, I’m not perfect either. I failed to predict the massive popularity of Pokemon back in the day, and I’ve been regretting it ever since.

The World Doesn’t Deserve This

Full House could be coming back to television · The A.V. Club.

I am often disappointed in the decisions we make as a country. Full House? Really? Why that show? Why now?

There are so many other shows they could be bringing back. Does no one remember “My Two Dads“? At least the original cast would probably be available for that. Furthermore, I’d like to take the time I’m spending ranting like an old man, to once again insist that they bring back “Misfits of Science” — er, somehow. (Actually, I’d settle for a Street Hawk TV movie.)

And finally, I’d also like to request that they find something for Mark Linn-Baker to do, because I think he’s very funny. Thank you.

Fine, I’m a Wuss

All alcoholic beverages taste terrible. This is a fact of life. Unfortunately, since they are often the only legal method many of us have for dulling the inordinate pain of this pointless existence, we must push through. If by some chemical quirk, liquor managed to taste exactly like literal shit, it would make no difference. Getting utterly, cosmically fucked up appears to reside just below our need for food, and just above our need for love, in the hierarchy of human needs. Our booze is like our blood: we need it inside of us if we are to live.

That said, there is one form of alcohol I cannot bring myself to imbibe — because no matter how much solace I require from the grinding degradation of day to day life, it tastes way too gross. And that is gin.

In spite of its apparently fascinating history, I still say nuh-uh. There isn’t enough sweet vermouth in the world to fix that shit.

Some Mornings, It’s a Double-Whammy

“Your alarm goes off on your phone, and instead of turning it off or hitting snooze, you pick it up and stupidly say, “Hello?” You are, to use the technical term, in the throes of sleep drunkenness, those first few confused minutes we sometimes experience after waking. For the first time, the phenomenon — also called confusion arousal — has been studied in a general adult population, and according to a just-published paper in Neurology, this behavior is actually pretty common.” {From: You May Suffer From Sleep Drunkenness — Science of Us | Via The Morning News}

Well, that’s just great. At last, I no longer have to be embarrassed by my constant morning disorientation since, whaddaya know, it’s “pretty common.”

But wait:

“For most people, and especially if this only happens to you every once in a while, it’s nothing to worry about. But for people who experience sleep drunkenness once a week or more, it could signal an undiagnosed sleep disorder. It could also be a sign of sleep deprivation, as these episodes were more common in people who’d had several nights with less than six hours of sleep in the last week. Or it could be that you’re getting too much sleep; previous research has shown sleep drunkenness is common in individuals who reported regularly getting more than nine hours of sleep a night.”

Well, shit.

You Though a Game of Monopoly Was a Long Stretch of Time, Well…

“Last week, Turkish archaeologists announced an astonishing discovery: a Bronze Age burial site has yielded what may be the oldest gaming tokens ever discovered.” {From: The History of Dice and The Oldest Dice in the World | The Escapist}

Please enjoy the above-linked history of dice. I don’t know if you’ll find it interesting. I have no perspective on such things. If you know me at all, you’d know that I have a thing about dice, which is that I like them beyond all rational justification. (I also enjoy playing cards too, but that’s not important right now.) So I’m basically linking this for my own sick pleasure, but I suppose if you happen to be curious, it might be worth your reading. But I don’t know, do I?